On Sunday 8th July the first ever Big Scary Monsters Records 5-a-side football tournament took place at the Linford Christie Sports Centre in London.

Over the course of 3 crazy, stressful hours, 16 teams played 24 games across 4 pitches hosting nearly 150 prime athletes!

All of the final scores, league tables, a round-up of the day and some photos are below...

Group Stage results - Semi-Final results - Final result - Photos



TEAM NEWS: Get Cape ask to change their name to 'Team Believe' and arrive with a squad as big as Chelsea's, including cleverly selected music industry workers who just so happen to be really good at football. Their warm-up routine frightens many and Darren from Rock Sound decides not to bother, instead opting to chain smoke and drink beer.

LAST MINUTE TEAM NEWS: After much trash-talking across many internet forums and Myspace pages, Yndi Halda were forced to back out of the tournament at the very last minute due to being pissies. And soundchecks running very late at their gig with 65 Days of Static, the other side of the city. Some speculated that this was rigged by the organiser whilst others laughed at the fact that the band had spent a small fortune on new football boots earlier in the week, without ever getting the chance to use them.

WAGS ALERT: They're out in force today but no sign of Posh Spice



Group A

Group B

Team P F A Pts
1 Get Cape 3 18 2 9
2 Punktastic 3 5 7 6
3 House of Brothers 3 2 10 3
4 Tubelord 3 2 8 0


Results

Get Cape 6 - 0 House of Brothers
Tubelord 0 - 1 Punktastic
Tubelord 2 - 6 Get Cape
Punktastic 4 - 1 House of Brothers
Get Cape 6 - 0 Punktastic
House of Brothers 1 - 0 Tubelord





Team P F A Pts
1 The Fly 3 12 4 9
2 Alcopop! 3 5 8 4
3 XFM 3 3 5 4
4 Rock Sound 3 3 8 0


Results

Rock Sound 0 - 2 The Fly
XFM 0 - 0 Alcopop!
XFM 1 - 4 The Fly
Alcopop! 4 - 2 Rock Sound
XFM 2 - 1 Rock Sound
Alcopop! 1 - 6 The Fly





Group C

Group D

Team P F A Pts
1 Drowned In Sound 3 7 5 7
2 Hassle 3 9 6 4
3 Secondsmile 3 3 4 2
4 Rolo Tom./IWACS 3 5 9 2


Results

Secondsmile 0 - 1 Drowned In Sound
Secondsmile 2 - 2 Hassle
Drowned In Sound 3 - 2 Hassle
Rolo Tomassi 1 - 1 Secondsmile
Rolo Tomassi 3 - 3 Drowned In Sound
Rolo Tomassi 1 - 5 Hassle





Team P F A Pts
1 BSM 2 5 0 6
2 Xtra Mile 2 3 3 3
3 MMISL 2 2 7 0
4 Yndi Halda 0 0 0 0


Results

BSM 4 - 0 Meet Me In St Louis
Xtra Mile 0 - 1 BSM
Meet Me In St Louis 2 - 3 Xtra Mile
Yndi Halda x - x BSM
Yndi Halda x - x Xtra Mile
Yndi Halda x - x Meet Me In St Louis





So that was that for the group stages. Get Cape Wear Cape Fly, The Fly, Drowned In Sound and Big Scary Monsters progressed to the semi's to face-off against one another whilst security desparately try to kick us off for running quite a bit late. They don't stand a chance against this army.

INJURY NEWS: Having arrived late the Rolo Tomassi / I Was A Cub Scout team were forced to play their three group games back to back, thus meaning almost an hour continuous play. Unfortunately during the Secondsmile game, their goalkeeper and guitarist, Joe, saved a particuarly hard left-foot drive from Ross Smithwick, causing a fractured wrist and jeopardising Rolo Tomassi's forthcoming tour with Meet Me In St Louis, due to start just 6 days later! A night in hospital and a lot of plaster beckons.

CONTROVERSIAL NOTE: Unfortunately due to a fairly weak blow of the full-time whistle during the BSM vs Xtra Mile game, some players failed to realise the game was over and Xtra Mile grabbed an equaliser right at the death. However, rules are rules and the goal was dis-allowed, therefore ensuring BSM of their semi-final place and sending Xtra Mile home for an early bath. The organiser's honesty was questioned and the game once again thrown into disrepute.

LATE ARRIVAL: Lewis from the frankly woeful Meet Me In St Louis team arrived over an hour late, just as his team trudged off of the pitch after their final game, beaten and broken men. Lewis, sporting the most ridiculously small shorts and two hot girls was heard to say "fuck this" before going home again.

The semi's...


Semi-Final 1


Get Cape 2 - 0 The Fly



Semi-Final 2


Drowned In Sound 3 - 2 BSM (After extra-time)


So there it was, Get Cape Wear Cape Fly and Drowned In Sound were set to meet in the final. The Big Scary Monsters side was left dejected after blowing a 2-0 lead only to lose in the final minutes of extra-time, when penalties looked certain. Ross Smithwick of Secondsmile again finds himself in hot water as he fails to notice a blatant foul on a BSM player seconds before the end. It's the last time he'll be asked to ref a game. No idea what happened to The Fly, one can only assume they were crushed by the Get Cape footballing machine as they continued their domination and squad rotation tactics.

Drowned In Sound look devestated by the news that they must play the final straight after their grueling semi-final (shock) win. Bodies look tired and an unhealthy amount of sweat flows as the crowd gathers looking forward to a true footballing spectacle.



Final


Drowned In Sound 2 - 6 Get Cape


No real spectacle in the end. The tiredness clearly taking it's toll on the Drowned In Sound team as Get Cape's routine substitutions and cool finishing sees them to an easy win. Their mascot - the weird pink rabbit head from the 'I Spy' video - sits proudly at the side whilst the team are presented with their tiny trophy.

Final update: The BSM team are sent to do laps in the car park as their captains heads into central London to get drunk and try to dodge the paparazzi wanting to know what went wrong in the semi's, with tomorrow's headlines set to be stolen by worrying injuries rather than footballing success

See you all next year!



Click the thumbnails to see bigger versions



PS. This is me winning the World Cup and with my mate Stan Collymore at Wembley:

Let that be a footballing warning to you all